by Anuhea Pizana
When my daughter was born, I was aware of postpartum depression and found myself on the lookout for symptoms. With a personal and family history of mood disorders, I was practically waiting for that feeling of hopelessness and almost expecting difficulty in bonding with my baby.
What I wasn’t prepared for was the gripping anxiety and fear that made leaving the house difficult, images of horrific accidents playing in my mind and an inability to calm down if any little thing happened (a rash, cough, dip in feedings or diapering). I had postpartum anxiety and wasn’t prepared at all.
Postpartum anxiety is only one of several mood disorders that may occur after giving birth. As many as 1 in 5 women experience some sort of Postpartum Mood Disorder beyond the expected emotional fluctuations referred to as “baby blues” (lasting around two weeks). Among these disorders are postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, postpartum OCD, postpartum PTSD and even postpartum psychosis.
These mood fluctuations result from the drastic neurobiological changes and hormones from giving birth and breast feeding as your brain adjusts to help meet your new baby’s needs.
Postpartum mood disorders are slowly coming to light as larger media platforms have helped to make this a hot topic for pregnancy. Celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow, Adele and Serena Williams have been raising awareness on their personal experiences with postpartum mood disorders, normalizing them and helping to remove stigma.
You may not even realize you have it. Maybe you’re thinking, “Is this normal motherhood worry or something more?” Postpartum mood disorders can feel most drastic to a first-time mom who has no benchmark on how she should be feeling and who questions every little parenting decision she makes. She may be feeling pressure to do everything right.
Try to refrain from searching for answers on social media and the Internet. This may actually intensify your symptoms. Coming across tragic stories will simply make your situation worse. Rely on a physician instead of Google.
Among the symptoms are trouble bonding with your baby, inability to get out of bed, excessive worrying, anger/irritability, gripping fear, panic attacks, extreme loneliness and hopelessness, questioning if you should have actually become a mother, or thoughts of harming yourself or your baby.
If this seems somewhat familiar, request a screening by your OB or pediatrician. Make an appointment with a psychologist to discuss how you’re feeling. Don’t be afraid to ask about medication. It may help to balance your mood and will allow you to experience the sweet moments of motherhood by lifting any curtain of worry and pain. Reach out to friends and family for verbal encouragement and assistance with your new baby. Hearing that you’re doing the right things as a mom can be both uplifting and reassuring.
What helped me the most when I was feeling alone and overwhelmed was to talk with other mom friends on the phone, and to have family and friends come to my home for spending time and chatting. Explain your emotions and what you’re thinking/feeling to your partner so they will be aware of how to support you during this difficult time. I also joined a mommy-and-me group that I could look forward to each week–a forum for sharing struggles and health concerns.
Again, it’s important to remember that this isn’t your fault. It’s due to chemical and hormonal changes and imbalances in your brain. By no means does this make you an unfit mother.
On the flip side, don’t be afraid to reach out to a family member or friend who is a new mom. All new moms need help with housework or even the little one. Drop by with food and a listening ear. Offer to help with laundry, dish washing or other light cleaning.
A mother with postpartum anxiety may not feel comfortable with someone else watching her child (I had a hard time relaxing if my daughter was with someone else). New moms may find comfort in relying on those they know for assistance in caring for their baby. Be sensitive to emotions and needs. The best thing you can do is to be there for them and tend to them, especially since most people overlook the mom and just focus on the baby.
If you’re facing a difficult time, know that you’re not alone. Be assured that this too, will pass. I noticed that with time, I was able to feel more like myself, gain confidence and trust my choices as a mother. I also was able to know my baby better and understand what was normal for her. Ultimately, my hormones adjusted and I mellowed out.
I still have moments when I feel a flicker of the panic start to arise–typically when a minor health issue comes up. I take a breath, try to calm down, remind myself that this is not the end of the world and realize that my baby will be fine tomorrow. Always remember that you’re stronger and more capable than you realize.
