by Elsa Lee, Ph.D.
Screens have become a major part of our children’s lives. Despite the American Academy of Pediatrics’ guidelines on screen time use, surveys show that children in the U.S. spend anywhere from 4 to 9 hours each day on screens for non-academic purposes. As technology becomes an inevitable part of our day-to-day lives, parents need to find ways to create a meaningful balance for screen time use. Let us start by understanding why screens are so appealing to our children in the first place.
What is the appeal, after all?
Before we ask our children to put down their screens, perhaps we should first understand what makes them so appealing. Studies show that the top reason why screens attract children and teens is because of the pleasure they offer. Consider the social media platforms such as TikTok, Snapchat, and Instagram. They provide constant notifications, updates, and real-time feedback for their users, which is particularly exciting for children as their brains are more sensitive to stimulation and instant gratification. Others believed that spending time on devices could improve their mood through the connections they make online. The perceived sense of belonging provided by these virtual communities is an experience that some children may struggle to find in real life.
What does the science say?
While these reasons help explain the appeal of screens, there is an even more powerful effect they have on the brain. Every time a child receives a “like” for their post, sees an update from friends, or unlocks a new level in a game, their brain instantly releases dopamine, which is a brain chemical that makes them feel good. This rewarding experience causes the child to crave more of the same feeling, which makes them engage more with their screens and even harder to disconnect. What many parents may not realize is that major tech companies such as Google and Facebook hire psychologists and behavioral science experts to design platforms in a way that keeps users engaged, which is an approach known as “persuasive design,” based on Dr. B.J. Fogg’s research at Stanford University.
Is excessive screen time really that bad?
As entertaining as screens may be for our children, the negative impact of excessive screen time can no longer be ignored. Research shows that too much screen time can affect children’s attention and concentration because the constant notifications distract a child from what they were doing. Dr. Gloria Mark, a researcher at UC Irvine, has often been referenced for her finding that it takes about 25.5 minutes to return to the original task after an interruption. While this may be an estimate, it is no surprise that constant distractions can directly affect a child’s ability to focus on their work.
But attention and focus are not the only concerns here. Excessive screen time can also affect early learning. Infants, toddlers, and young children learn best by interacting with the real world, such as touching objects, manipulating materials (e.g., blocks, toys, textures), and communicating with their caregivers. These experiences are crucial for young children to build skills that screens cannot replicate or provide, regardless of claims made by technology or educational software companies. In fact, too much unsupervised screen time, especially for children under two, has been linked to lower scores on language and cognitive tests.
Besides cognitive development, too much screen time also impacts children’s mental health. The ABCD study, which is the largest long-term research project of brain development and child health in the U.S., found that children who spent more time on digital devices were more likely to develop depression, anxiety, and social anxiety over two years. Why is that? More screen time means fewer real-life social interactions, which can lead to loneliness and isolation. They may also struggle with emotional regulation, which is the ability to manage and respond to an emotional experience appropriately. Children learn best by navigating real-life situations and paying attention to reactions of other people around them. The need to adjust their own responses based on instant feedback they receive is a key aspect of emotional development. Without these experiences, a child will miss out on the opportunities to learn how to identify and regulate emotions, especially in stressful situations.
What can parents do?
Although excessive screen time is undoubtedly harmful to children’s development, screens and technology are not our enemies if we know how to use them wisely and effectively. Here are some simple strategies that can help parents navigate this digital maze:
- Set Clear Boundaries – Work with your child to set screen time limits and parental controls. Explain to them that these tools are not meant to be punitive, but to help keep them safe and establish reasonable expectations.
- Create an Optimal Environment – Keep screens out of bedrooms and dining areas. Designate specific areas where devices are allowed, ideally in locations that are not easily visible or accessible. Simply seeing a device can trigger our brain to expect excitement or stimulation, which makes it even harder for children to resist the urge to use it.
- Know When to Introduce Phone Use – Delay giving your child their phone for as long as possible. If a phone is necessary for safety or communication, choose devices that provide only basic functions, such as texting and calling. Even well-known figures in the tech industry, like Steve Jobs and Bill Gates, supported limiting and delaying access to electronic devices for their own children. In fact, Bill Gates once shared in an interview that he did not allow his children to have smartphones until they turned 14.
- Encourage Alternative Activities – Keep books, art supplies, and small toys readily available in common areas (e.g. car, living room). For older children, introduce a new hobby or sport. Even if they may not seem interested at first, it is important not to give up too quickly because patience and persistence are key to developing new habits and routines. When children grow up with less screen time, they are less likely to become dependent on it because they are not conditioned to turn to screens for instant entertainment, comfort, or gratification. Instead, they will seek out alternative activities that can provide that natural dopamine boost!
- Be a Role Model – Show your children how to balance screen time by putting away your phone during meals or family time. Make time for activities together without screens, whether it is baking cookies, playing a board game, doing sports, or trying a new restaurant. These shared experiences will build strong family bonds that cannot be replaced by screens.
Is it too late to stop?
It’s never too late to make a change! Even if your child has been spending a lot of time on screens, there is still hope. Start by gradually cutting back on their screen time, as this approach works better than abruptly removing all access. Remember that screen use triggers dopamine – a brain chemical that makes activities feel rewarding and even addictive. So, if screens are taken away too quickly, children may react strongly and negatively. Gradual adjustments can allow the brain time to adapt while you replace it with other activities that involve human and social connection. With patience, positive modeling, and consistency, your child can develop healthy habits that balance screen time with other meaningful activities.
Dr. Elsa Lee is a neuropsychologist and clinical director at Assets School. She oversees the Transforming Lives Center that provides psychoeducational and neuropsychological evaluations for school-aged children across the state of Hawai’i.
