Getting the Job Done: Potty Training 101

child using a training toilet

by Stephanie Lopes

Going to the bathroom is a rudimentary activity that most older children and adults take for granted. But, for parents of young children, me included, potty training can be a consistent thought that is met with angst and anxiety – as well as high anticipation to ditch the diapers.

Diverse theories, books and guidelines direct parents to potty train a certain way. However, researchers have not yet come to a conclusive consensus about which potty training method is best.

Infant toilet training – with some researchers suggesting starting as early as four weeks old – often entails putting a baby over a toilet and making a specific noise to signal for them to go (typically called “elimination communication”).

Child-oriented potty training includes multi-month approaches that gradually introduce the potty and what to do until the child sits on the potty themselves; these approaches typically are recommended when a child is at least two years old. Some fast-track potty methods, including training in less than a day, also exist.

Other methods use multiple mini potties, drinking lots of fluids, staying at home for a few days, the absence of any clothing and even giving chocolates for rewards when a child wipes well. Another modern method uses a diaper alarm that sends data to an app when a child urinates or defecates.

With all these toileting methods, how should a parent potty train their child? Considering the individual child, the parenting desires and expert potty-training advice can all aid in eventually being diaper-free.

For expert advice, educators at Rainbow Schools have partnered with parents to train thousands of students to use the potty. Rainbow Schools began in 1972 and has locations in Honolulu, Mililani, Wahiawa, Kaneohe and Kahuku. Rainbow School Honolulu center director Sarah Paragoso and Rainbow Schools program director Jayne Arasaki offered to share some of their time-tested toilet training tips with Hawaii parents.

“It’s important to have a mindset that potty training will happen; we will get there,” starts Paragoso. “Almost everyone can be potty trained, even children with special needs.”

mom playing with her son and his toys
Incentives and enthusiasm for their progress can help ease a child’s transition out of diapers.

Potty training is individualized.

“Potty training depends on the child,” says Arasaki. “When children are ready – both physically and mentally – they are ready. Don’t pressure them.”

Expands Paragoso, “A quick tip is to throw away the timeline. Don’t compare children, as everybody is different. One potty training technic might work for someone, and one might fit someone else. Potty training isn’t one size fits all.”

Nurture enthusiasm for the potty.

Undisputably, children learn from their parents. Those little eyes are always watching us, and, from the age of a baby, parents can start to introduce the potty – and even bring the child into the bathroom experience with them, if both parties are comfortable with that concept.

Build a vocabulary (potty, shi shi, poo poo – whatever words you use in your language). Vocabulary building can occur when the parent uses the potty, when changing baby’s diapers, by directly introducing the child to the potty or even through reading books. Make the conversations factual – or even fun, if possible – as going to the bathroom is a normal part of life – not something to be thought of as disgusting.

a diaper changing room equipped with diapers
Rainbow Schools’ staff is trained and equipped to change diapers every 2 hours and monitor each child’s progress in their potty training journey.

Sight some potty-readiness signs.

For parents whose potty-training goals are for their children to independently walk into a bathroom, pull down their pants, use the potty, wipe themselves, wash their hands, and more – Rainbow Schools staff look for certain physical and psychological signs.

First, at Rainbow Schools, admissions decisions do not depend on if a child is potty trained. Rather, if a child is not potty trained, the school is equipped with diaper-changing stations and trained staff that check and change diapers at least every two hours, carefully recording whether the diaper is dry, wet or has a stool.

“If the diaper is dry in between changes, this show us that they are developing the physical control,” explains Paragoso. “Then, we might have them sit on the toilet and try to use the potty.

“If they are afraid to sit on the toilet and say no, then they are not ready. Instead, we might try to help them become comfortable with the toilet by having them simply touch it with their legs or another object.”

“Other major signs are if they can take off their clothes, get on the toilet themselves and throw away things,” continues Paragoso. “We want them to develop those self-help skills for the toilet training process.”

Procure potty-related equipment.

What do you need to potty train a child? Well, a potty. It can be a little potty, a seat on top of the big potty or the big potty itself. “Use whatever works for you child,” encourages Paragoso.

Do you choose pull-up diapers, thicker potty-training underwear or regular underwear to start the potty-training process? Again, decide what works best for your child.

“We work with parents, so whatever is chosen is consistent at home and at school,” explains Paragoso.

Create a restroom routine – filled with positive praise.

“At the start, encourage your child to try as much as they can to go to the bathroom,” says Paragoso. “After a while, students at Rainbow Schools get into a restroom routine. They use the bathroom and wash their hands at a certain time each day,” shares Arasaki.

Expect accidents.

“Potty training is never linear,” warns Paragoso. “There will be setbacks, like accidents, but don’t make a big deal about them; change the child’s clothes and move on.”

“You have to expect accidents,” advises Arasaki. “Sometimes kids don’t want to take a break from what they are doing, or sometimes children are going through changes in their own life with anxiety, which could cause accidents. Sometimes, transitioning to preschool can cause accidents, too.”

mom potty training toddler on the toilet
As they become more comfortable using the potty trainer chair, a small insert like this one can help them make their final transition to the big potty.

Partner with a supportive preschool.

Different preschools have different policies on potty-readiness. At Rainbow Schools, the staff partners with parents in the potty-training process, offering informational packets as well as daily communication logs regarding toileting (as well as eating and sleeping).

“We communicate frequently with our parents to ensure what children do at home stays consistent at school,” shares Paragoso. “We always want to be on the same page with parents.”

Starting in the toddler classroom, Rainbow Schools introduces the potty in not-so-scary ways by having children sit on the toilet, flush it and wash their hands.

Starting in the two-year-old classroom, more students often become interested in the potty. “Once one is interested in the potty, then they all are usually interested in the potty,” says Paragoso.

Rainbow School Honolulu has superb potty facilities for children, as well, making going to the potty almost a fun experience. “We have child-sized bathrooms in all our classrooms and outdoor play area, and children are free to go at any time,” describes Paragoso.

No matter the method, Rainbow Schools can confirm that almost every child will be potty-trained – with some positive parental support and guidance along the way.

Concludes Arasaki, “As adults, there are some things we can’t completely control, and every child is different. We create the supportive environment for children to be successful.”

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