by Jessica VanDyne
Parenting is not for the weak; it’s a wild adventure that takes guts, stamina and persistence. It’s a race that leaves you in an almost constant state of exhaustion that makes you question: the who, the why and the how of every dimension of your personality.
This level of dedication – this show of love that we willingly and happily give to our children – quickly takes its toll on our need for adult nurturing and love and oftentimes leave us as parents, open to feelings of emptiness and guilt. It leaves us pouring from an empty cup. To combat this, it is essential to maintain a level of self-care throughout each and every day, and to make sure that YOU are a priority in addition to the little people you care for day in and day out.
Making self-care a part of your parenting routine not only benefits you but also benefits your family. With just a few small changes, you can transform your interactions with your children and family, shift your own thoughts from negative to positive and improve the quality of your own happiness and expectations.
Starting Small
We all get the feeling of “I don’t have time,” and every parent knows that that statement is not an exaggeration. However, self-care isn’t about whether there’s time; it’s about making it. Right away, start claiming 10-15 minutes a day for yourself. It won’t take away from your productivity, it won’t throw your day off; it will reset your mental output, calm your focus and believe it or not, will help increase how much you get done each day. Staking out your own mental territory will also make you feel happy, more at ease and proud that you finally got some “you time.”
Use this purposeful break to connect with yourself and to pay attention to how you feel and to what you need. By engaging in a favorite hobby, writing a journal, walking, meditating, drawing or soaking in the tub – no matter the activity – this time is yours; allow yourself the basic luxury of TIME.
Let It Go
Tell yourself throughout your moments of calm and struggle… that you’re doing your best. Remind yourself gently that you cannot do it all and that’s OK. Write these words down, place them where you can see them and remind yourself of them frequently. When you decide to let something go in a moment or for a length of time, Do it. Do not question your decision or allow guilt for the lack of completion. Instead, add it to your mental list of “complete self-care items.” Just because it wasn’t yet completed in its entirety, doesn’t mean it didn’t fulfill a purpose in not getting done. Selfcare and letting go should be a part of your daily purpose.
Making The Cut
Practice focusing on doing one thing at a time. Giving yourself and your family the gift of mindfulness in each activity, you’ll find more joy and focus even in the most mundane of tasks. Remember, sometimes, expecting perfection is a hindrance to productivity. You won’t always get it perfect, but that’s okay and what makes daily life the adventure that it is. Let it be messy and create purpose in that space. Not everything will be done exactly how you’d like, but it will be done. Calmly remind yourself in those moments, that it’s really OK to stay present in one thing at a time, to slow down and to let it be messy.
What Goes Out, Must Go In
One of the biggest things that parents forget to do is to care for themselves physically. Maintaining a healthy diet as well as keeping yourself hydrated makes all the difference in our attitude and opinions of each day. Don’t skip breakfast to save time, carry a water bottle with you throughout your busy agenda, have a preconceived plan for lunch. One of the biggest parts of self-care is consciously choosing what goes into your body. If you work for it, it will work for you and denying yourself basic health needs will only add to your stress, exhaustion and desire for satiation. Also included in this category is something we all need more of… SLEEP. Don’t neglect or underestimate the effect that a lack of sleep will have on your ability to perform any and all tasks. Rest well, rest often and make sure that your sleep schedule is a priority.
Don’t Give Up
Making selfcare a part of your parenting routine not only benefits you but also benefits your family. With just a few small steps and added changes – making yourself feel a part of something bigger and feeling loved by yourself and others around you – you can fill your cup each day, ensuring that there is enough of you to fulfill the others who need you most.
